Law School Baby

Tim and I started talking about starting our family, and when would be a “good time” in our lives, when we were living in Guyana. I never thought I wanted kids until I had the chance to work in the health center and was surrounded by babies, mamas and pregnant women every day. I got to see first hand the joy and pride that being a parent brought to my clients. Tim has always wanted children and so when I told him I thought I was ready to have kids of our own he was excited. The only question we had then was when? When we joined the Peace Crops, the plan was always for me to go to law school right after. I had taken then LSAT before going overseas in preparation and was applying to schools when we began having the baby talk.

We began to discuss whether we should plan to wait until after I was finished with school or try to start our family while I was in law school. On the one hand, waiting would mean I would be working and bringing in income when there was another Tibbs to take care of. On the other hand, if we waited I would be over thirty and Tim would be thirty-four when we had our first child. This would certainly not be unheard of, but we like the idea of getting a Tibbs clan started a little earlier in life. Plus, in all likelihood, we wouldn’t have tried to get pregnant immediately after I was out of law school since I would like to work and build some credibility in my first real lawyer job before we had to ask for maternity leave.

Were we crazy to think that we could handle the pressures of law school and our first baby? Well, like with most decisions in our lives, we decided to do some research before we made a big decision. I spent some time online, googling around to see if I could find any advice. Were there any other women who had had babies in law school and, if so, what were their experiences and advice? After a little time online, I found a group of attorney mama bloggers who shared their stories about having their babies in law school. It was great to learn from these women that, with discipline, sacrifice and teamwork, it is doable.

So, with the inspiration of women who had come before, we decided to go for it. We may be crazy, but a law school baby is in the works. I only have one more year of law school to go and the timing works out so that I will be able to finish my fall semester before the baby comes. If the baby comes on time, I will have 5 weeks at home with Tim and the baby during Christmas break. Then, in mid-January, I’ll go back to school to finish my third year and graduate on time. I am taking summer school presently so that my spring semester will be light. I will only be taking 3 evening classes a week, which means I will be able to be home with the baby during the daytime. Then, when I have to go to class in the evening, Tim will be home to take over baby duty.

Although I am confident that Tim and I have a good plan I still sometimes wonder if this is a “good time” for us to have a baby. We aren’t homeowners and we still have student loan debt. But then again, is there ever a time that we will feel ready emotionally and financially? I doubt it. And it is encouraging to know that we are not in this alone. We will have the support of my mom, who is planning on moving up to Sacramento, and our family and friends, who are all so excited for baby Bibbs. I know this law school baby will be raised not only by us, but by our village of teachers, lawyers, nurses, young professionals and old parenting pros. So maybe we aren’t so crazy after all… 

As a bonus, here is a picture of me at 16 weeks. Even though Toast wanted in the picture, the Bibbs bump is still pretty visible! 

Reviving Tibbs Travels – Embarking on a New Adventure

Clearly law school and teaching has taken a lot of our time and focus this last year. I am embarrassed to say, it has been since October since we posted a blog. I suppose it didn’t feel like we were living up to the name of the blog, “Tibbs’ Travels” because we have been settled into our life and demanding routine, although we have been taking weekends and vacations to explore around and about California with friends and family.

However, now we are embarking on a new, wild adventure that we think may be blog-worthy, or at least interesting to our dear readers – our family and friends afar. We are going to have a baby! We are thrilled, excited, overjoyed, overwhelmed and nervous to become parents. Our baby, who we have been calling “Bibbs”, short for baby Tibbs, is due to arrive in early December.

 

I found out on March 31^st that I was pregnant. Tim was at work already and I was home alone. This was something we had been hoping for for quite some time so I was on alert to the possibility that we might finally have a baby on the way but I was still shocked to see the home test result. I started crying with joy and trepidation and had to sit down and let the magnitude of the realization sink in. I decided to wait to tell Tim until he got home from work that day.

Waiting all day, holding this new secret to myself was surreal. I felt like I was walking in a dream, until I was able to share the news. Ironically, I had an errand to run that day that involved buying diapers to donate to a charity event at school so I found myself browsing the baby section of Target, feeling hopeful and overwhelmed. I bought the diapers to donate and also decided to put together a gift bag for Tim as a way of telling him we were going to have a baby. I bought a packet of nursery hangers and a tiny onesie that said “My dad is cooler than your dad” on it. I found a card that said on the outside, “It was never a question of IF, but only a matter of WHEN” and I wrote “Congratulations, you are going to be a father!” on the inside of the blank card. I put the whole gift bag together, went to class as if my day was normal and then waited for Tim to come home.

Tim was surprised to find a present and even more surprised when he opened it. He was confused by the nursery hangers, but I think he knew at that point what I was trying to tell him. However, he is the kind of guy who likes to see things in writing for them to sink in. He picked up the onesie next, laughed and commented on how small it was. Then he got to the card. When he read it, I think the words made the message real. He acted surprised, but I think he had known all along. After a few shocked curse words, he came to give me a hug and we were able to cry and kiss and enjoy the huge, weighty reality that we are going to be parents.

Now I am 16 weeks along in the pregnancy and the reality has taken almost this much time to sink in. We have been documenting, in picture form, the journey thus far and have so much to share. We want to try to get back into the blogging habit, both to keep our family updated and also so we can have a journal of this crazy new adventure we have started. For now, I think the best way to share how far we have come in just these four short months is to share these sort of embarrassing photos of Bibbs and me, growing together.