Ruminations: Time is a funny thing.

Time is a funny thing. 

The other day I went to bed at 9:15. Now, this may not seem so unusual for a new dad, but for those who know me, they know that my bed time was usually around 10:30/11:00, even with a little one. Since these are the last few weeks before the February California Bar, Chels has been hitting the books hard, which means that I am on baby duty throughout the night. The little one had a rough night the night before, so I decided to go to bed early. Not only was I out like a light but she only woke up once and I was only up for 30 minutes. As morning came, I woke up at my regular time, around 5:15, but, even though I had a pretty solid eight hours of sleep, I wanted more. Then it hit me: time is a funny thing.  

When I was younger I made an effort to only sleep six hours a night. I thought sleep was overrated and there was so much to experience in the waking world: books to read, friends to visit, shows to watch, and work to do; so why waste time on sleep? Some may share this philosophy, others may think me a raving lunatic--sleep is a passionate topic. But the other night I realized, I am getting older. Time is waging war on me and marching on its merry, destructive way. But it’s inevitable.  I can’t avoid it, I can’t fight it. That fourth dimension is out of my reach. Granted I am only in my mid-thirties and I have plenty of life to live, but this was the first time I felt my age.

A couple weeks ago, I was at a teacher training and I left some nonfiction articles for my kiddos to read. All of the articles were based around a theme: What makes a person an adult? Is it just time? Or are there certain characteristics that make a person act like an adult? One could argue either way or one could say both since those characteristics usually come as people age. But for the teens it was an interesting introspection on their own behaviors. Anyway, I mention this because I am at the point where I feel like I’ve reached a good spot in my life: I have a beautiful wife and daughter, a pretty awesome job, a dog, a car payment, bills that I can pay, and a pretty good routine.  It’s nice but it can  also  be deceptive.

I like pushing myself, sometimes change is hard for me, but I’ve never been one to settle down. And my life will be changed again when I finally go back to school (something I greatly desire!) However, the deception can come from complacency. When we were younger we wanted to be older. Time seemed to be going so, so, so slow. Summer couldn’t come fast enough. School, for some, wasn’t engaging. Life, for many, wasn’t exciting.  But now once we get our routines, our jobs, our lives; our adult lives, our life settles down, time flies. For example, we’ve been in Sacramento for 3.5 years! Where has that time gone? My little girl is already 14 months old! She’s walking, talking (well making noises that she knows what she is saying) What happened to our little blob? Maybe time seems so slow when we are younger because we are constantly and drastically changing and growing. As we get older that change decelerates and it becomes more gradual, less noticeable. It’s a funny thing. 

This last week I’ve been tossing this idea for the blog out to some of my friends and colleagues who range in age from early 30s to late 40s. And it has been interesting conversations. One, who is in his early 40s, said “What happened? I feel like I just woke and I became old…I can’t run like I used to, I can’t be as physical as I want.”  Is it just a realization like that? Does that mean we are old? Is that how it hits?  Another colleague in his late 40s mentioned that to him his change became a decade thing. He’d realize that another decade had passed and would reflect and make changes to his lifestyle. He wasn’t able to be as physically active as he used to so he had to tone down and start sleeping more too! I was talking to another friend and she was reflecting on how she isn’t the same either. She recently started working as an attorney, doing her grind and it is similar for her too. These conversation helped me realize that I am not alone on this overwhelming ocean of time and breathed a sigh. 

Time is such a funny thing. But one thing is certain we can’t avoid it. We just have to live with it. All we can do is keep swimming. 

Newbs

So yesterday we had an interesting experience. Chelsea and I are spending a whirl-wind weekend in Southern California. We are visiting my side of the family so they can have some quality time with the T-Bug and for Chels to attend one of our best friends' baby showers; we are also going to check in with some of our So-Cal peeps (but the time is too short to connect with all of you! Sorry!) .  Regardless of our itinerary, we are feeling quite newbie-ish at this whole traveling-with-a-new-baby thing. Hence, the title.

So last time we came down here was in June to attend an amazing wedding in San Diego. (Whooo Brangelista!). It was during the summer so we drove. Bad idea. It took us 10 hours and Tori was not feeling it. Especially in L.A. traffic. This time we chose to fly from Sacramento to LA, and then rent a car. 

Here are some useful things we have learned from our experience: 

1) When traveling with a baby remember to bring shot records, birth certificates, and/or some sort of identification for the child. Yea, we forgot. But the nice guy at the counter helped and informed us about the situation; however, we still need to get that information sent to us some how before we depart Sunday night. 

2) When going through security do not wear your baby in a wrap for it will set off the metal detector. Chels was wearing T-bug and walked through the detector. She set it off because of the metal ring attached to the wrap. She stepped back through and was about to take the wrap off, but since she set off the metal detector already,  she had to go through a super search anyway. She and the baby were both throughly, thoroughly searched. Also, the milk we'd brought had to be put into a machine to make sure it was not and explosive device. Win for TSA! We are safe to travel. 

3) Great! With a child you get family boarding! But, do remember to check your plane side car-seat, stroller,  or other things before you pass through the gate or be ready to get a withering look from the attendant and a guilt trip as he reluctantly goes through the 30-second task of placing a gate claim ticket on the item. Sorry, guy. It was our first time! 

All very good lessons. One's we will not forget. But I had to share them to the world at large! By the way, she travelled like a champ so lets see what Sunday brings! 

The Year to Come.

The alarm clock blares, the morning light seeps through the blinds, and it’s Monday. Work is back on, plans must be made, papers corrected, and meetings attended. 10 to 12 hour days will commence again and weekends will be a slight respite, but work still needs to be done.  

For the last two weeks I’ve been back at work. The week before last I was traveling to Stockton for Common Core Training and last week was a quick teacher’s retreat and some on campus professional development, with some Teacher Work Days thrown in the mix. However, students returned again last Thursday and came ready to rock this year.

I have started my second year at my school site and I couldn’t be happier. The summer was a necessary break where I was able to develop some materials at my own pace, relax, and find Myself again. Chelsea and I were able to take advantage of our summer schedules and visited the river, our families, and some lost friends who’ve been on our minds, but been so busy to take time and visit. It was a great summer and I think we took full advantage of it.

I am really excited to be going into my third year of teaching in Sacramento and know that I have gotten better every year.  I am teaching the older students, 10^th-12^th, and it’s where I think I should be. 

Before the Color Run

AFTER the colorful madness

It’s been a fun filled last two weeks. Chelsea’s mom came down last weekend and we ran The Color Run and then she helped organize the “guest-room--and-office-sometimes--turned-nursery” into an awesome space that looks like it is  not only  comfy for our guests (since guests can still sleep there), but also looks like it’s almost ready for a baby. This is appropriate since in a few weeks the second trimester will be over and Chels will be 2/3 of her way through the pregnancy! Wow! So close it’s been a magical time so far and there is still more to go. It will be interesting working and watching Chelsea progress through the last stage of this phenomenal moment of our lives. I plan on using this first half of the school year working on my life-work balance so when Little Bibbs comes I want to be able to spend as much time as I can with this incredible being.   
 

Moreover, our old Peace Corps compatriot, Annie, drove down on Sunday and spent part of the day at the River with us and Toast. It was a treat to see her since we live so close (only about 1.5 hours away), but we all are so busy so we haven’t made time to visit each other. We plan on remedying that in a few weeks when we go visit her.  

Then last Thursday (yes the same day the students came for their first day of school) Chelsea’s brother came down and we drove to San Francisco to see one of our favorite bands, Rx Bandits. Granted it was a school night, but I wouldn’t change the experience for the world. Friday was a little rough, but the show was great and I was introduced to a new band and danced a little bit the rocking sounds of Rx B. No regrets. Totally worth it. 

The year to come has some great potential and some really life changing moments (the baby and Chelsea graduating, for example) and I know with the positive energy I am feeling now, and true satisfaction I feel in my life at this moment, it can only continue to be magnificent. There will be rough patches, for sure, but there is always smooth sailing after and I can’t wait for it to happen.

Our message to Bibbs at the end of Week 22.

   

So this couple, a pup, and a fetus go for a drive…

Last weekend Tim, Toast, and I drove down to Oxnard to visit the Tibbses and our So Cal friends. I found out that the six-hour drive is a lot more difficult when you are five months pregnant. It isn’t as easy to sit comfortably in a car for long stretches as it used to be. But Tim made the drive pleasant by reading to me (and Bibbs). He learned that the baby can hear his voice so he started reading us a novel – the Dresden Files. It is a very entertaining story about a modern day wizard who solves crime in Chicago. Bibbs apparently loves to hear Tim’s voice because I can feel baby kicks and flutters every time he reads aloud. It is cool! Toast is generally ambivalent to Tim’s orations.

It is amazing how many things we managed to cram into one busy, fun-filled weekend! Mostly, we enjoyed the beautiful warmth of the Southern California summer with family. We played beach volleyball with Tim’s brother and niece (who is trying out for the freshman volleyball team when she starts high school next year) and splashed around in the ocean. We brunched with the in-laws and caught them up with all our baby related news. Everyone is so excited that we are adding to the Tibbs clan! We took Tim’s pop out to a movie, which was luxurious, since the two of us haven’t had time to see many of the summer blockbusters. 

 

On Friday we had dinner with some of Tim’s oldest friends. They have a 14^th month old so we got another preview into what life with a baby will look like. It was especially interesting to watch Toast interact with a baby. We were nervous but she did really great! Sometimes she wanted to play with the baby so she would go into the downward dog bow position and then started running away to get the baby to chase her. The baby had no idea that the game worked that way and Toast got a little bored. Then Toast brought the baby her ball. She apparently wanted to teach the baby to play fetch but the baby didn’t get the idea that he was supposed to throw the ball. He would pick it up and Toast would wait patiently but the baby never threw it. Toast would nudge him gently but eventually gave up and came over to us. She seemed exasperated and, if we could read her mind, we think she would have told us, “That ‘puppy’ is either broken or stupid.”  Anyway, it was a hoot to see how she will do as a nanny dog. We are still planning on entering her into personal dog training starting next month though so we can rely on her to obey us 100% of the time when the baby comes, just to be safe. 

Tim and cousin Joey in a pic from 1994(?) found in an old photo album. What goobers! Some things never change...

Anyway, that night Tim and his cousin went to see his brother’s band play at the local bar (I stayed in because I am a lame, tired pregnant lady and didn’t want to be on my feet around cigarette smoke and drunk people). The boys had a great time without me and I got a wealth of advice from two experienced mom friends and then a great night’s sleep. It was good that I was well-rested because the next day we went to the Oxnard Salsa festival with our friends Heather and Jeff. The festival was such a fun event! It was a free fair that highlighted all things “salsa”. There was salsa music and dancing and, for only $5 we got a bag of chips and got to taste hundreds of gourmet salsas made by local restaurants and vendors. We had such a wide variety of salsas, everything from a sweet and mild strawberry to super hot habanero. It was, as Heather said, like wine tasting for pregnant ladies!

After our tatsebuds were fried off from the spice, we headed to Heather and Jeff’s house for the night. We got to meet their 4-month old puppy, Franklin. He is a cute pup and just loved Toast. The two dogs played all evening as we caught up with our friends. It was hilarious to watch Franklin follow Toast around everywhere and take cues from her, like Toast used to do with older dogs when she was a puppy. For example, Franklin didn’t know how to climb down the stairs in the house but after watching Toast do it a few times, and a little coaxing from us, he got the hang of it. Now Franklin is a pro at the stairs. 

They look almost the same size! Franklin "Beast" is going to be a big dog!

All in all it was a great weekend! Tim started back at work this week (teaching work days and professional development all week and the students come back next week). I am wrapping up work at the immigration law clinic and getting ready to start classes in mid-August. All that new school nonsense deserves a post in itself though.

And in brief, baby related news we saw Bibbs on an ultrasound a few weeks ago! All is healthy and well with the baby. We decided to wait to find out the sex of the baby until we meet him or her in person in four short months. Both baby and I are growing and doing well. Here is an updated Bibbs photo for your hilarity. 

August Wrap-Up

·      I am still trying to find my groove and get into a rhythm with my new class schedule. It is a challenging semester but, overall I love the classes I am taking. It is great to be a 2L and get to choose my own courses.  Tim is falling into routine too and it feels good.

·      I got a part-time job! I am working as a law clerk (paid position!) for a private immigration firm. It is small (two kick-ass female attorneys, 1 support staff and 1 business manager, and now me). I’ve only worked one day so far but I already think it is going to be a great fit for me. The work is interesting (everything from employment to family-based to humanitarian immigration) and my co-workers are so nice and fun. On my first day they bought me a birthday cake because they heard it was my birthday week. How super sweet is that?

Last evening in the Glen. Happy birthday!

·      My birthday celebrations were great! I was surrounded by people I love and had such fun! We took a lightning-speed trip down to Santa Cruz to see Taming of the Shrew at the Glen at Shakespeare Santa Cruz. Mom and Stephan made a theme picnic; Shrewdrivers and Lambic-pentameter, Cross-gartered loins (grilled flank steak sandwiches), Shake-spears (asparagus speaks in a ziplock bag of seasonings), and other cleverly named, delicious morsels. Although none of us were particularly impressed by the artistic decisions of this particular show, I found out later that this was Shakespeare Santa Cruz’s last season! It makes me sad to see another of my hometown landmarks fall into obsolescence. Stephan made an amazing ice cream cake for me. It is great to have a chef in the family. :) 28 is going to be a great year. 

A delicious picnic with some of my favorite women (and Tim, taking the picture).

·      Sacramento is still hanging on to summer weather but at night the cool breeze and crisp mornings remind us that winter is coming. Emily says it is time for me to buy winter curtains to keep us warm in our drafty old house.  I’m excited to wear boot and scarves again. 

Empowered and Energized

I have realized that I love to be busy, busy, busy. I think that even if I had magic hourglass that Hermione had in Harry Potter, I’d be just like Hermione and turn back time to re-do my days over again, just to fill them with more things to do. I wouldn’t go back in time and take a nap, or watch Project Runway. I’d probably clean my house, or arrange and decorate my patio or volunteer in an afterschool program, or actually practice yoga regularly.

As it is, I don’t have the time-turney thing yet I manage to fill my schedule to the max and stay happy. Maybe my love of staying busy is because I am an extrovert. Maybe because I think I have magic powers. I really don’t know. But I do know that even when I have a “break” from something, I am not really taking a break.

For example, last week Friday I finished my 10-week internship with The Firm. I technically started my two-week “break” before school starts again. Two weeks of leisure reading and sleeping-in, right? Ha. Here’s what actually happened:

Immediately after I left work, I got home where my mom and Auntie were making tutu costumes for our run in the Color Run for the next day. I helped cut and sort colorful tulle for a while, until I swept everyone off to a happy hour event that I had a hand in organizing with the group of Return Peace Corps Volunteers in Sacramento. I bounced between my RPCV cohort and my family for a few hours and then we zipped back home to finish our tutu making extravaganza and get ready for the “happiest 5k on earth” the next day.

Tutus and fairy wings! Oh My!

The Color Run on Saturday was SO much fun! It was like a giant Holi celebration so Tim and I got to feel happily nostalgic for the beautiful holidays we spent throwing powder and playing Pagwah in Guyana.

 

Before the color

 

 

After (and during) the color madness!

In between running through color and eating and drinking with family and friends, I had volunteered to help Tim set up his classroom since his students came back from break this week Monday. Luckily, our good friend Erin offered to help Tim and I get his classroom situated. Erin’s mom is a school teacher, so she has lots of experience hanging posters, making colorful borders and writing in legible block letters. It was a great help on Saturday evening and Sunday morning to have Erin help with the set up!

 

Tim's classroom is UCSD themed. Go Tritons!

So lets see, finish internship, RPCV event, make tutus, do color run, hang with fam, set up Tim’s classroom….what was next, I am sure I managed to shove a few million other things into the weekend…oh yes! Then on Sunday afternoon, after I took my Auntie to the airport, I drove in to San Francisco to meet a few college buddies for dinner and a belated “graduation ceremony” for my amazing friend Heather who just got her masters in speech pathology and is done with school forever!

 

We got Heather a lei (she never had one before) and a "cap" and "gown", made a graduation program and played Pomp and Circumstance on the iPhone. Much to the hilarity of the other restaurant patrons.

After a (surprisingly) amazing vegan meal with wonderful friends, did I decide that I had should chillax a little, like a sane person would do? Heck no! Instead I drove to San Jose to stay the night and have breakfast with my Emily friend, then on Monday headed into SF for the day for a whirlwind of back-to-school thrift store shopping, then I drove to Santa Rosa to help my Oma organize her art studio. Monday and Tuesday consisted of chatting with my Oma as I did things she shouldn’t be doing anymore, like standing on ladders, lifting heavy stepping stones, lifting boxes, running up and down stairs to put things away etc. Basically, projects followed by amazing meals and more back to school thrift-store shopping as rewards.

In the midst of all this madness, I have been working on organizing the Orientation Week for the new incoming law students. Orientation starts next week and there is much left to do. My co-chair and I have a scavenger hunt map to make, prizes to buy, a menu to finalize and much more. But Orientation is going to be awesome!

The week after Orientation, I start classes and I’m kidding myself if I think the pace of life will slow down when school starts. I will have to shift my focus back in to class mode and away from social and extra-curricular activities. But I will be no less busy. I am taking 17 units (the max allowed by the school). That is 7 classes (only 4 with finals), working as a research assistant for the Moot Court Competition team.

This may sound exhausting, and maybe I will have to reassess as classes get going and drop some things if the schedule is not tenable, but I don’t feel exhausted, overwhelmed or grumpy. I feel empowered! Like I mentioned, I love being busy! I am proud when I can accomplish all my many goals for the day and love that I constantly am challenging myself to keep all the balls in the air. I haven’t forgotten my motto (instilled in me last year, CTFO – chill the fuck out). I just don’t feel un-chill. I feel energized, empowered and ready to kick butt this upcoming year!

But seriously, if anyone knows where I can get Hermione’s time-turney thing, hook a sister up!

The First Days of Summer and a Happy Father’s Day!

Barbecuing on a Saturday! (Look at the awesome table we built too!) 

Work officially ended for me for the summer last Friday. I spent the week working with a few students, and wrapping up some loose ends at campus. The first things I did once I got home are an indication of what I plan on doing this summer: eat, walk Toast, read, nap, hang out. Then, Chelsea and I spent Saturday running errands, barbecuing, and having a movie night and now I am on a train heading to Oxnard. Happy Father’s Day!

Friday Night Adventures with new friends and Professional Fairies who made us Balloon Animals! So much fun! 

I hope this Summer (or at least the next four weeks) are restful and relaxing. I have some plans to get done like read a few teaching books, read for fun, and finish my novel (yes, it is still in the works!) but other than that I am hoping for decompression time. This time last year we were figuring out our living conditions and I was applying for jobs—this is much less stressful.

Reflecting back on the school year I realize I've learned a lot about teaching, about myself, and about what I want to do in the future. I am working another year at my school but instead of teaching 10^th grade I've been moved to teach 12^th grade. I am very excited about this move. I really enjoyed my 10^th graders, but I think teaching senior’s is a better fit for me. It still will present its own challenges and its own rewards, but all in all I think it will be beneficial in the long run. I can get into material that I really enjoy (Senior year English was one of my favorite years of High School English!) and I will be working with students right before they go to college...but no more teaching talk; it’s summer time!

The San Joaquin Valley passes by the window and every time I take a train or drive through the valleys of California I am reminded at how amazing our State is. Orchards, grapevines, olive trees, and field after field stretch beyond the eye can see. Old Industrial farms sprout along the tracks, some look like rusted out carcasses, but others look corporate minimalist and so Americanly efficient.

This week will be a blast. I am excited to see my family, some old friends, and the luxurious Southern California Coast. We will see what else Oxnard may bring!

Field after field

More Valley

Spring Break

            Today is my first official day of Spring Break! Yay! Last night I turned in my final graded assignment for my legal research and writing class which was a wonderful feeling! Another 1L law school milestone accomplished!

            Luckily, since I had started the memo earlier in the term, I was able to split my time between finalizing the assignment and enjoying my first weekend on Spring Break, which just so happened to fall on St. Patrick’s Day. My friend celebrated her birthday on Friday and she came to visit for the weekend. I am so lucky that we live close to each other so we can do weekend visits regularly. While she was here we ate yummy food, watched the St. Patty’s Day parade in Old Town, spent a beautiful, sunny day walking around mid-town for a celebratory pub-crawl and ended the evening with a raucous game of Cards Against Humanity.

            I felt like the weekend was a perfect balance between school responsibilities and fun. On Sunday I was able to finish my memo while Tim and Em did some of their own work for their respective professional jobs and then we all took Toast to the dog park followed by an afternoon at Tres Hermanas with margaritas (green drinks of course in honor of the holiday!).

            Over my break I am planning on getting started with my outlines for finals because when I go back to school next week there are only 4 more weeks of instruction before study week and then finals and then I will be officially done with my first year of law school. Hard to believe how time flies! I am also participating in the 1L Moot Court Competition so over the break I have to read a fact pattern, a closed-universe of cases from the hypothetical jurisdiction of Utopia and then prepare a brief and oral argument that I will submit next week. It is a fun competition that simulates the Appellate process so I will be practicing my persuasive writing skills and getting feedback on my oral advocacy. There is the possibility to win a scholarship prize and earn a spot on the Moot Court competition team as a research assistant next year if I do well so I am going to give it my best effort.

            Again, I am working on the whole school/life balance thing so also during this break I am heading out to Santa Rosa to visit my cousins and my 2 year-old second cousin while they are in town visiting Oma. It will be great to see the family and have some chill family time. Also, next weekend my mother-in-law is visiting us, which we are really looking forward to! I love hosting family at our little house and I am looking forward to showing off the fun parts of our new hometown.

            Tim has his Spring break next week and the following week (major bummer that our breaks do not coincide) and he is looking forward to having some time to relax, plan lessons without being under a time crunch and take care of some tasks around the house that he has had on his list for a while.

            The weather is beautiful here in the Capitol so we are happily taking advantage of our free time to get outside and enjoy the warm breeze, smell of the blossoms on the trees and sunshine. Toast loves the spring weather too. At the moment, I am watching her play in the backyard. She must have lost some toy in a bush and gone in after it but now she is stuck in the bush and all I can see is her little head poking out! She is a hilarious animal (although she is not staying tiny, technically a medium sized beast) and it is great to have a little dog friend to keep us company. Life is good. 

Toast and her best friend Atticus playing in Erin's backyard

The Paddy Wagon at the Parade

Celebrating Tim's Irish heritage

Seriously LOVE these ladies!

Old Town Sacramento reminds us how amazing California is!

Yay! Vacation! Yay friends!